I had an interesting exchange with my roomie this morning. We were joking around about my weight (bad chips habit, me) and he asked, since I said I was “too svelt for the Bear Community”, what constituted being IN that community.
“Does being fat and hairy mean you’re in? Do you have to go line up with two pieces of ID for a card?”
I explained Bears, Cubs and Otters and even the fringe Goats, Beavers and Wolves.
He said that he found many Bears to be arrogant. I argued that they were shy and felt exclusive from the gay community. That the Toolbox was a perfect example of this… the old bar was physically apart from the “community” and had a rougher clientele that did not shave bodily or succumb to the Botox ads at Church and Wellesley. He sited that many Bear groups in Toronto are tight knit and clique-ish. I couldn’t argue that point. I tried to join BBT a couple years back – two emails and no reply. And I’ve heard countless other similar complaints.
I said that Bears were taught all their life that 1) they were gay and that 2) their bodies were disgusting so when they did find their niche, they had a tendency not to be able to shuck their quiet shy demeanours, but there were some cases that were totally opposite.
“Like drag queens?” my roomie offers.
I couldn’t disagree. They’re quite similar in many respects. Subcultured and proud, both have their uniform (Bears=Ubermasculine flannel, Drag=Fabulous Frock), both have their music (Bear=alternative, hardly ever disco, Drag=Diva) and both usually have to go through a double coming out process that has that person overcompensating in some way: Bears=Walking around shirtless at their first Bear Social; Drag=First time out in public in said Frock. It can be a beautiful thing or a total mess, depending on their self image, training and execution.
I assume that this is common when cultures sub-divide into infinity and gay men, who have had no mentor or education in their sexuality, are left to discover the “community” they belong to.
12 thoughts on “Attack of the 50 Foot Bear Drag Queen”
I’m normally not one to comment on a blog (as I find most blogs are just pissy, cutting self-absorbed opinions, but I just had to comment on this one (as I sorta started it). Last I heard, a ‘Bear’ was a Hirsute, MASCULINE male (how Lesbians and Fat Fems invaded this area, God knows)Why is it that ‘bear’,which is supposed to describe a large range of body size and types from Otters to Bulls, Gainers and Chubbies, has become by large the domain of the Gainer and Chubbie end of the spectrum excluding all others?
Why are these ‘bears’ so clique-ish? I don’t fully buy the ‘Shy and ashamed’ theory as I’ve met many very catty bears. (NOTE-shy people don’t tend to be catty). and if they are/were ashamed of their bodies did they do anything to try to change or are they expecting everyone to accept them without making any effort on thier own part? (Fag attitude in the worst sense)Besides, it’s not fair to blanket a large group with one excuse or chracteristic. Except that they are a marketer’s dream, any piece of crap with a bear paw on it will sell! I laugh to myself whenever I see a ‘Bear’ with ‘B-E-A-R’ written all over him. I mean isn’t it obvious that your a ‘Bear’? to me it’s like painting ‘H-O-U-S-E’ on the front of your house, the only reason you don’t do it is because nobody else does, so there’s no urge to conform.
Just something to think about.
Luv ya dearies
A threesome!
Listening to Heart on Snow by Marc Almond. Check it out!
What do you want for Crimbo?
Well well well. Prodigal returns.
Where you been Bear God?
First off, there’s no such thing as a gay “community”. Accept that fact, and pretty much everything else makes sense.
Secondly, the bear sub-culture sees itself as finally having “arrived” in the mainstream of gay culture so now it’s time to further refine the hierarchy. Hence A-Listers, and then everyone else. Most of them are A-somethings alright …
Thirdly, you guys should listen to DR. Wise man he is. (Do I get a Christmas iCard now????)
I thought as much. I think I’m having more fun twirling faggoty flags right down the centre of Straightsville (Brampton, Bowmanville) and scoping out the hot daddies.
Bear Buddies Toronto is run by the most boring group of people on the planet. The only “event” they ever have any more is their monthly bar night. Who needs to join a bear club to go to a bar once a month?
You didn’t miss much not joining them.
Beavers are really hairy lesbians.
Goats are guys who may or may not be hairy, may or may not have physical girth but have fabulous facial hair. Goatee, handlebar moustache, beard in some stylish manner.
Wolves are pure loners, who may or may not be hairy. Usually svelt like Otters.
Beavers I just made up. Bear Fag Hags?
Bears, Cubs and Otters I know, but Goats, Wolves and Beavers?
Please help clear up my ignorance…
Try breaking into the LiveJournal bear clique. Thats pretty tight too.
I think Bears are like that because they were complete social outcasts during high school.
I guess I will have to be satisfied with being a B-list bear…
You want a group of ultra-exclusive asshole bears? Look no further than Chicago’s very own Great Lakes Bears! A more clique-ish group of furry pricks you will never meet. Most bears solo are friendly to the point of being obnoxious about it (I still have the paw scars) yet the GLB’s will throw a bar party and not talk to ANYONE not in their sick little (big) group.